Overheard

So I was passing the time at work and wandered over to a blog I hadn't read in a long time, "Overheard in New York." Basically people submit real, hilarious things they hear on the street, on the bus, on the subway, etc. Here are a few gems I came across today:

Young boy, pointing out the subway window at the Gowanus Canal: Look, mom, a lake!
Mom: That ain't no lake! That's where the dookie comes out!
--F Train

Random guy on street: You have a great day, beautiful lady.
Girl: Thank you.
Random guy on street: No, not you. Her! (points to the girl behind her)
--Waverly Place & 6th Ave

Tourist looking at a subway map, drawing a line with his finger: Where does this train go?
New Yorker: Exactly where you just pointed.
--B Train

20-something grunge girl #1: So I plan on getting really trashed tonight, do you think I can crash there tonight?
20-something grunge girl #2: I wouldn't recommend it. Last time I crashed there I ended up with scabies.
--L Train

Old man: Are you guys tourists or something?
Couple: Yes.
Old man: Is that why you're walking so fucking slow?!
--8th St Station

Tourist trying to get through the turnstile with a credit card: Didn't this work last time?
Tourist friend: Try my Visa, maybe yours is expired.
--Bryant Park Station

Middle Eastern man surrounded by bags of rice: Would you like to buy some rice?
Young woman: No, thanks.
Middle Eastern man: But it's good rice. Good strong rice.
Young woman: Oh, I've got plenty of rice at home.
Middle Eastern man: But your rice no good. This rice much better.
Woman (offended, screaming): You don't know what kind of rice I eat!
(long pause)
Middle Eastern man, sheepishly: Only $20.
--F Train

For Meredith: 
Girl's in Queens for the first time: You can order milkshakes and cigarettes from the diner any time of night? This place is a fucking wonderland!
--Queens

And the last one, just for Chris:
Boyfriend, looking at girlfriend's iPhone: Who is this guy Nick that you're talking to?
Ditzy girlfriend: Whatever...you don't have to worry about him. He's from New Jersey, so I would never touch him.
Boyfriend: What's that have to do with anything?
Ditzy girlfriend: Hello! Everyone knows that everyone in New Jersey has STDs!
--7 Train

Happy Friday, everyone.