This time next week I'll be winding down my first day in New York. I've spent the past several days getting everything ready: I've made my Web site, ordered business cards, gone shopping. But I haven't spent enough time doing possibly the most important thing: researching. I love and respect fashion, but I don't know nearly enough about it. So for the next week I'm going to cram my brain with as many names and collections as possible, so maybe, just maybe, I'll know what I'm talking about when I get there.
I'm really afraid of not knowing enough. I'm so green, and I'm scared that will shine way too much. As I was feeling insecure tonight, I realized that I must not let that insecurity show when I get there. Even if I don't feel comfortable with a task, I need to complete it with earnest and confidence. People can smell fear, especially the people in fashion.
But what really delighted me as I was watching videos of runway shows and reading reviews was that I really really loved it. I didn't surprised that I loved it, that I already knew, but I was glad to see that I loved it so much that it turned around my whole day. I didn't have the best day today, all of my plans fell through, so I ended up staying in tonight. I wasn't initially happy about it, but now I am. Everything happens for a reason.
I have so many emotions flying around in me about this trip. I'm excited above all things, but I'm also nervous, scared and really worried. This is such a big deal. It's New York Fashion Week, for christ sakes. The Super Bowl of fashion. And I can't believe I'm going to be there. Not only am I going to be there, I'm going to be a part of it. Even if it's just in a small way. I just want to make the best impression on the most amount of people possible. I'm going to meet a lot of important people in fashion, and the worst thing that could happen is if I end up on their bad sides.
I won't let that happen. I can't. I've never been afraid of hard work before, and I'm not now. I'm so eager to learn, so even if I don't know enough as I should when I get there, maybe someone will teach me. You have to start somewhere, right?
Six days and counting ...